Boy Am I Eating Shit Now

I know, I know what a cry baby. I'm OK it's just that Mary's really going to make it rough on me this time. Hey I can't blame her for being pissed, but damn she won't let up for a second. I am opening up all my financials for her to see on a daily basis. I am in some ways glad to be at this point it makes us finally work together. We have been doing thing separate and on our own for most of our time together. I don't want to have to put on any airs or be prideful and cover up my insecurities and mistakes. I know it doesn't seem like it from some of my actions but I have always wanted and needed that very thing. The thing I've hidden from and felt guilty about my whole adult life, that I don't measure up to what I feel I should and have never even came close to reaching my true potential. This disappoints me and makes me feel like shit, so I've hidden it and acted like it's OK and I can handle it on my own. Well I can't and don't want to anymore. I hope it's not too late to mend things with Mary and also at least strive to reach some of my true potential. I will carry on, I will keep on working, I will keep on praying, I am always still learning and I am trusting in God.

SEE YA