Same Old Same Old

Haven't been writing for a while just kind of out of it. It's was a tough year 07 lost some family, my brother Les and my wifes brother Bob. Very confusing and upsetting conditions. The strain on my marrige is incredible and nonstop. Mary wants me out of the house for awhile, I don't like it but I do understand it. I have something about me that keeps me from being totally open and honest to her. It usually has to do with money situations where I will use some credit and not tell her. This is a throw back to 15 years ago when I was hooked on coke and hid it for a couple of years. I got a chance at a move out of state and a decent severance package and took it.
We moved to where my elderly Grandma lived and helped her through the last years of her life.
When I did come clean and told my wife she lost all trust in me and it's been that way since. Now anything even remotely secretive she looses it. Can't say that I blame her. Hope all works out
because I do truly love her. This is a hard part of life.