Trying to get it right

Is there anything I am thinking or saying that's of any intrest to anyone. WellI guess it does to me and that's enough for me. I just write here in complete isolation, it's like being in a huge crowded room and being totally invisable. My life with my dear wife is always a struggle, she just does not trust me. I am doing everything we have agreed on except I haven't got a steady second job. This just bugs her no end. I can't find one. I don't want to do the contracting because it is too easy to lose money or waste a huge amount of time. I work over 42 regular weekday hours per week right here in town and I make good money about $70k per year. This just isn't enough for her she thinks I'm lazy or something. I am being honest with her and letting her see all my bills and accounts, still doesn't seem ok with her. I can't seem to get it right or make it right. What will it take? It is like banging my head on a brick wall. Nobody will se this or care about my situation. I am not and have not lived up to my potential and I know it is my choices that creates this life.



See Ya

Boat, Boat, Boat

I think I am going to have to put off the boat idea for now. It seems what I really want is going to cost a little more then I can spend right now. The $4500 boat was a good buy, but I lost out to a guy trading a Harley. Then I saw the exact boat I wanted and it cost $19k but it is sweet a Sea Ray 268 sportcruiser very very clean and low hours. I just saw another Bayliner 28 ft. for $7k should I go look at it. I probably will. Why am I fixated on boats now? I guess it is just a diversion from reality. It does help me to just check out and kind of dream. So I let myself just go for awhile. I love boats and motorcycles. I can't help it.