Bored and Boring

This is for sure a very true description of me. I keep reliving the same old senerios over and over. My choices just don't seem to be right or sometimes I refuse to make any at all. I am living in constent fear mostly the fear of what my past choices have made our today lives. I don't know if can climb out of it, if there is enough time. Age has increased my insecurity and my self worth is at an all time low. This of course makes me look weak and needy, these are not exactly attractive traits to myself or anyone else espesially my wife. So I make the same mistakes and wrong choices, I cover up and lie about the things that make me feel the most insecure MONEY issues. This is at the top of my lack of self worth and it doesn't seem to change or get better. At this point my dear wife can't take it anymore and I don't blame her. She wants me to move out and get it together and prove I have changed. This just makes things worse and more complicated but being forced to do something is so much better then staying the same. So as it stands today I am snivling about the same things I did 20 years ago, if thats not boring I don't know what is. Well enough for now. See Ya Dave